Shiny Shelf

Infinite Crisis #3

By Jim Smith on 22 December 2005

WARNING! Contains spoilers!

Many years ago Shiny Shelf’s Andrew Plummer jokingly improvised the plot for a DC Crossover called ‘Tears for a King’ (Aquaman was dead at the time).

It was deliberately ludicrous and pointless, a mocking of the scale of crossovers and the then imminent ‘The Obsidian Age’. It was invented on the spot by a man who’d had a couple of drinks after work. The second best joke in it was “In issue #3, Batman weeps”. The best joke was that the whole plot turned out to be the result of a scheme by some Golden Age characters to reverse the ‘Crisis’.

Oh how we laughed at this grandiose parody of the worst things about the comics we loved. Well, we’re not laughing now, because Geoff Johns has actually managed to write that very story.

‘Infinite Crisis’ #3 features both of the ‘jokes’ mentioned above, as well as many, many battles, all rendered at a huge scale but fought against foes so generic the events are meaingless in dramatic terms. These are played out against, and intercut with, some small character moments (Batman talks to the Golden Age Superman) that do actually work and some plot revelations (who the 2nd Luthor is) that don’t, thanks to being not only entirely unsurprising but also unfortunate, inappropriate and rather dull.

‘Infinitie Crisis’ stands revealed more and more as a deck-clearing excercise, one where (if you’ll forgive the increasingly mixed metaphor) a decidely average writer has tried to punch so far above his weight he’s fallen flat on his face.

And if you think that sounds torturous, run the plot of the issue back in your head. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t wish it was ‘One Year Later’ already?

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